Have you ever found yourself struggling to find something interesting to say to another person? You’re probably trying too hard.

There is a simple way to almost guarantee successful social interactions, and you’ve probably experienced this first hand. If you’ve never read the book How To Win Friends and Influence People, I definitely recommend it. It’s an older book, but Dale Carnegie does an excellent job of explaining the fine art of deftly dealing with the other humans we interact with every day.

Become Interesting

When I read this legendary book, a big old light bulb went on for me. It is filled with a ton of useful information about how people interact, but the biggest takeaway for me was that people just LOVE talking about themselves. Think about it. Have you ever met someone who seemed really skilled at the art of conversation? Chances are, they probably didn’t even do very much speaking. They probably just encouraged you to start rambling on about yourself. People are funny that way. They talk about themselves to another person for ten minutes and then walk away thinking that the other person was absolutely fascinating!

Try it the next time you find yourself conversing with someone. Just keep feeding them questions that encourage them to talk about themselves. If needed take some ideas from this random question generator.

Now, simply grab your coffee, sit back, and relax. 🙂

They will carry most of the conversational load and will walk away thinking that you are one of the best conversationalists ever.

See also: Icebreaker Questions for Small Groups

That is how you can become interesting to people instantly. There is no science behind it. It is simple psychology. There more you listen actively, the more interesting you become to people. Although there are exceptional cases, where you have to speak to get the attention, listening to people works fine most of the time.

See also: 22 Funny Questions to Ask a Girl